We recently chatted about ways to help your kids with intuitive eating. I asked you all – what is the biggest barrier to helping your kids eat intuitively?
Overwhelmingly, you answered: diet culture. And the ability to be okay with your own food issues before you serve as a positive body image role model for your kids.
That’s a common concern. And a very legitimate one.
I’m glad you’re thinking critically about your own relationship with food and body image before you work to pass on positive messages to your kids. Sometimes we may even have a little guilt or shame as parents if we don’t have perfect body image. And really, who does? But there are three hidden truths that make the struggle a little bit easier.
So I explain in this video three important things you need to know about diet culture before you can become a positive body image role model:
1. It’s not your fault.
Yes, I know, this sounds a little bit like Robin Williams in Good Will Hunting. But it’s true. If you have EVER felt bad about your body, I want you to know… it’s not your fault.
Don’t feel bad if you sometimes think negatively about the way you look.
Diet culture doesn’t mean you’re actually ON a diet right now. But it’s an influential system of values that equates white, Western thinness with moral superiority and “goodness” while stigmatizing any bodies that aren’t the “ideal.” It’s a system that uses imagery and so-called values like “health” and “beauty” to perpetuate feelings of inadequacy and elevate ideals that you can never quite attain.
In plain English… they want to make you feel bad about yourself in order to make money off of your insecurities.
The problem with some attempts to combat diet culture are messages to women that they SHOULD love their bodies. But it’s not so easy. There are major forces at work, and those forces have been active for decades! So it’s not an easy fix.
Related: 5 ways to be kinder to your body
2. Diet culture is capitalist
As mentioned, diet culture is rooted in trying to profit off of women disliking how they look.
You may not even realize all of the things you spend money on that are rooted in the body shaming industry. From lip plumpers, eye creams, anti-aging moisturizer, and cellulite creams to shapewear, eyelash lengtheners, exercise regimens, and meal plans. Even Fitbits, yoga wear and trainers, considered “healthy” and “responsible” can become expensive and feel less like an option, and more like a requirement.
Let’s think about it. Will nutrition companies and beauty magazines tell you to walk a half hour a day, eat several servings of fruits and vegetables a day, and wear what makes you feel comfortable? No way! Where’s the money in that?
They need you to feel bad about yourself. They need you to analyze different parts of your body and feel like you need to fix them. Otherwise, how could they make all the cash?
The Mighty: “Dear Oprah, Please Stop Promoting Diet Culture”
3. Without diet culture, women could run the world
This might sound a little conspiracy-theory-ish, but diet culture is designed to keep women down.
A few years ago, I volunteered at a charity clothing drive. I folded donations with two smart, accomplished women in their 50s who spent a full 30 minutes talking about their respective needs to lose weight.
The conversation was boring AND sad.
I wondered, why are these incredible women spending so much time talking about how they look? Men don’t sit around and do this. How could women rule the world if they weren’t hating their bodies?
It’s easier, of course, for women to bond over hating their bodies. You’ve probably been surrounded by women, especially new mothers, trading weight-loss tips with each other. If we were to announce our love for our bodies, it wouldn’t be received well. Instead, we bond over our communal self-hatred.
Challenge: count the number of times you think about the way you look tomorrow, or how the food you put into your body will affect your shape.
Imagine for a moment if you were to spend all of those moments making the world a better place. Or on your personal growth. Or on actually FEELING good, instead of looking good.
What are the possibilities?
Before you go, be sure to get your free guide with 8 advanced strategies to support healthy body image in children:
I’m tired of those who admire people who spend a majority of their free time exercising and dieting for the perfect body.
I want to say, “so what, you are perfect.” Why is this the goal of life for some people? As you said, such a waste of energy that could be channeled more positively.