5 Ways to Be Kinder to Your Body in the New Year

I love cardio kickboxing workouts. The roundhouse kicks, the jabs, the upper cuts, and the punches. But not long ago, I had to give it all up.

My kickboxing goals were to stay healthy, get my blood rate going, release some political tension, and frankly, to tone my postpartum midsection a little.  

Was it meeting all those goals? Mostly. Sort of.

But it took a doctor to tell me that it was probably bad for my body. My neck, in particular, which has experienced lots and lots of pain over the years. To be kinder to my body… to heal… I had to stop.

I was bummed. What now?

Is your health or wellness plan actually kind?

TW: body image, eating disorders.

Have you ever found yourself on a health/nutrition/exercise regime that “worked” (a/k/a kept you feeling not flabby) but actually had some negative side effects? Those “cons” can show up in many different ways.

Perhaps you were always hungry, or lacked energy. Maybe you had little time left for hobbies or friends because the hours you clocked at the gym or fastidiously meal planning.

Or perhaps you couldn’t enjoy yourself out to brunch with friends because you worried about your carb or sugar intake.

Maybe your knees cried out in pain during the long runs you couldn’t bear to miss.

None of those side effects are kind to our bodies. Sometimes we have to cut the activity or plan that keeps us feeling “thin” or “in control” to practice true kindness to ourselves. With that in mind…

Here are 5 ways to be kinder to your body in the new year.

1. Recognize weight loss programs for what they are.

Most programs have learned not to call themselves diet plans anymore. That terminology went out with the ’90s. But they’ve gotten smarter and more savvy about wording and marketing. Is your health or nutrition plan simply a rebranded diet?  For more, check out Layla Saad’s excellent podcast about Weight Watchers, Oprah, and diet culture.

Ask yourself: what is this plan promising me?

Do they show before and after photos to inspire shame potential customers? If so, the underlying message is that one body is worthy and the other is not. Or that your life isn’t a good one until you reach a certain size.

Let’s reject those in favor of intuitive eating and listening to your body. There’s no need to wait until the AFTER photo to start living your life.

Related: 5 ways to combat new mom isolation

Ask yourself: would I be doing this plan if it DIDN’T help me lose weight? Then you’ll know if it’s sustainable for the long term.

2. Notice when you self-objectify.

What IS self-objectification? It’s when you think about your body from the point of view of other people.

How do my thighs look when I sit on this chair?
When I smile really big, are my gums showing?

If I stand sideways in this photo, will I look thinner?

All of those thoughts are self-objectification.

Here’s a strategy for balancing those. (I can’t promise to remove those thoughts, but we CAN compete with them, with this little exercise.)

Each time you think about how you look to other people, challenge yourself to think ANOTHER thought: “I am _____.”  Fill in the blank with a positive characteristic about your personality.

Examples: I am curious. I am a hard worker. I’m committed to making this world a better place. I am a loving mother.

How will YOU fill in the blank? Practice one now. Come on, seriously. Say it out loud. If it’s easiest, you can re-use that one phrase over and over.  Pretty soon, you’ll be competing for that valuable mind space with positive thoughts.

More: how to move beyond “pretty” with girls

3. Declutter your social media feed.

How do the people in your social media feed make you feel? Sure, you may love home decor, but do those gorgeous countertops inspire your creativity? Or do you often feel jealous, inadequate, broke, or like you need to buy more stuff?

I was following a couple of mom accounts with extraordinary photography. But their carefully arranged, edited scenes made me wonder silly thoughts: why don’t I ever give my child a bath with floating rose petals? Why isn’t my family ever in matching PJs? How does she get her child to nap with a wand in his hand? Should I put together a witty letterboard instead of watching Jane the Virgin? (Spoiler: the answer is no.)

While I loved their creativity, and so do tens of thousands of other followers, I often felt like an inadequate mom, rather than inspired.

So remember… YOU choose what you see.. Follow those accounts that make you feel good about yourself, or truly connected to others.

Decluttering isn’t just for drawers. Use it on Instagram, too!

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Are you ready to “up your game” as a body image role model? Get the free “How to Nurture Healthy Body Image in Kids” guide with 8 advanced strategies you haven’t already heard:

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4. Don’t punish yourself, especially in front of children.

Kids hear everything we say. Even when I think I’m outsmarting my 3 year-old, she’ll call from the other room, “are you talking about me?” She doesn’t miss a damn thing.

And they’re little sponges. They absorb ALL of our messages, even the silent ones.

So think twice before saying you’re “being good” by passing on the bagels. Or that the holiday cheesecake means you need to get to the gym pronto. After all, we don’t want our girls to hate their bodies or our boys to learn that women’s bodies are to be judged.

What are the messages you wish adults had given you as a child?

5. Do what brings your body joy.

When my doctor told me to cut the kickboxing, I was totally bummed. It was one of the few workouts that held my interest and made me feel powerful.

Thankfully, I had recently read a reflection prompt that asked: “in the past year, when did your body feel the most joy?” I thought back to times I rocked out at concerts, and even the living room dance parties with my kid.

Related: The Mental Load of Motherhood: the Guilt of Equality

So I’ve intentionally integrated more dance into my life. After dancing as a child and teen for about 15 years, I started intentionally dancing again. I rekindled my ballet roots with some gentle moves and stretches online. Plus, I created a YouTube playlist of songs that helps me shake it in my basement – what better cardio exercise could there be? There certainly isn’t one that makes me feel more joyful.

If you enjoy ’90s hip hop and 2000s rock, feel free to check it out here. No judgments please 🙂

How will you move your body to feel joyful this year?  Share with us below!

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Don’t forget to grab your free body image guide here before you go: