We need to talk about the blatant gender stereotypes that permeate greeting cards, especially kids’ birthday cards.
A few months ago, I bought a birthday gift for my best friend’s toddler and hunted for an accompanying card. I dashed into the drug store and planned to grab one quickly. It’s a birthday card for a three year-old kid – how hard could it be?
I plucked a few from the shelf and scanned them quickly. Ugh, this one’s too glittery. These are all princesses. This one says “diva.” Are there any regular cards for regular three year-olds?
Before long I noticed that the gender division among baby shower items also permeates kids’ greeting cards. We all know that toys and clothes for children tend to have strict and defined parameters for boys and girls. But greeting cards? Really?
First, the envelopes are almost all blue and pink. There is nary a yellow or red, or even white envelope to be found. The color coded instructions for shoppers in a hurry are pretty clear, no?
Similar to toy catalogs, it seems we are telling kids what their interests and personalities should be. And we send these messages at a very young age. Yup, I’m calling sexism on the darn birthday cards!
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Girls are Sweet and Pretty
The cards labeled for girls are unsurprisingly swathed in pink and purple, with words like sweet and love.
They also contain a subtle focus on the way that girls appear to others. I wouldn’t go so far as to mention voyeurism or the male-gaze, but, well…. I guess I just did.
“Girl words” included gems such as: diva, sweet, special, loved, bows, personality, and…sweet again.
Verbs included: scene-stealing, smile-bringing, spins, standing, fluffs. But the first two words serve more as adjectives to describe the girl, not what she is doing.
Card companies portray two and three year-olds – who may or may not even know their full name or address – to have narrow personalities that fit into one mold: a teensy, tiny, smile-bringing girl. 
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The cards directed to boys are action-packed, and focus on his strong and active personality. Most importantly, the words focus on what he DOES, not how he looks. Except for the word “taller,” but in this world, who doesn’t want to be taller?
Boy words included: hero, play, powers, roar, fun, lion special, taller, bigger, smarter, clever, and strong.
Verbs included: spring, soar, swoop, jump, spin, run, catch, pounce, play.
Which child would you rather be?
Girls get to fluff things, bring smiles to people’s faces, and be sweet. Boys get to jump, run, and play. They get to be the hero!
Card companies tell parents and very young children that boys do (and should) be this kind of kid:
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This was an admittedly small sample. But that is real life – Walgreens carried this selection when I popped in quickly for a card. And I didn’t even glance at the Disney™ princess cards. Imagine how those would have tipped the scales.
And we’re not the only ones who’ve noticed these gender stereotypes.
But what if we used all words for all genders? And all colors? Our world might look a little more like this:
If you’re still in suspense, I eventually purchased this card for my best friend’s toddler. While it was color-coded with the blue envelopes, it had no mention of boys on the front or inside. We have a winner!
But people, I really had to hunt for this. Most busy folks won’t spend the time I did. They’ll grab a card without thinking too hard, because honestly…it’s a greeting card for a toddler and shouldn’t require much effort.
While the color-coded pink and blue envelopes might be convenient, they reinforce outdated gender stereotypes that limit possibilities for kids.
When will we stop assigning interests and personality traits to children, especially at such a young age?
Be sure to grab our free mini e-book about how to reduce our gender bias in parenting:
Totally agree with you. You really have to search to find non-gendered cards (and toys!)
I know. It shouldn’t be this difficult, right?
We appreciate the time you took! A stroll around Walgreens only confirms how pervasive this is. School notebooks, folders, backpacks, coloring books…
It is pervasive. We need better options that are readily available to the general public instead of having to hunt for them online!