How to Talk to Kids About Race: 4 Books to Kickstart the Conversation

For many parents, the topic of race feels tricky. How do you start a conversation about race with a young child?

It’s such a complicated topic, you may be tempted to steer away from it until the child is older, when they more readily grasp complex topics. Or you may freeze up completely, thinking I don’t even know where to begin.

But if we ignore race when they’re young, it’s a faux color-blind approach – the “we don’t see race, everyone is equal” mentality, which really isn’t helpful. Let’s face it, we DO see race. And it can deeply shape a person’s experiences. To pretend it doesn’t exist is not only silly, but it also robs people of their whole personhood.

So how do we begin? As with every topic, I’m a big believer in books as a great place to start. To learn how to talk to kids about race, check out these four books to help you get going.

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Let’s Talk About Race, Julius Lester:

My child has asked for this book every day this week. I think she can feel the authenticity oozing off the pages.

Written first person from the perspective of an older black man, it engages children in a dialogue. Where were you born? What’s your favorite food?

Lester’s Let’s Talk About Race features contemporary cubist-vibe illustrations, contrasted with a down-home casual voice.

It teaches three critical lessons: (1) If we all took off our hair and clothes and skin, we’d have the same bones underneath. We’re all humans.

Beneath everyone’s skin are the same hard bones.”

(2) No race is better than another, and people who say otherwise are simply afraid.

(3) Even though we’re all the same underneath our skin, we have very different experiences. Our lives are a story that INCLUDES race, as well as our history, likes and dislikes, etc.

The power of this book lies not in the premise that we’re all just people, but in our rich, varied experiences, which shape unique individuals.

Ages: recommended 6-10, but you can start younger. (There are a couple sentences I skip with my 3 year-old, such as one that refers to siblings being dead, so use your discretion about age.) Buy here.

Related:

The New Classics: 5 Favorite Books for Young Feminists

A Crack in Our Consciousness: Grappling with Family Separation

Best Inclusive Children’s Book of the year: The Day You Begin

My First Biography: Martin Luther King, Jr., Marion Dane Bauer

While Let’s Talk About Race focuses on our individual uniqueness, this King biography highlights systemic racism.

This book weaves the story of pre-Civil Rights segregation and King’s instrumental role in deconstructing it. Kids will identify with the simple text and accessible illustrations of children, who are separated on playgrounds, schools, and restaurants because of race.

The concerned expressions on the children’s faces convey the problems inherent in segregation.

The book ends on a happy note – children of all races now learn, dine, and play together. While formalized segregation ended, racism certainly lingers in the U.S., perhaps even more open and flagrant in recent days. This biography is an excellent primer about historical and institutional racism.

Ages: 3 and up.  Buy here.

¡Sí, Se Puede! Yes, We Can! Janitor Strike in L.A., Diana Cohn & Francisco Delgado

While not explicitly about race, Sí Se Puede is a young person’s first introduction to labor unions, organizing, and working conditions for many immigrant populations.

My daughter’s eyes study the gorgeous illustrations intently as she learns the story of little Carlitos and his mamá, who works as a janitor.

Janitorial work is not an occupation we discuss much with children. But they soon learn that Mamá “scrubs the bathroom tiles so they shine like the moon,” lending importance to a grueling and often thankless job.

With a blended family: grandmother, mother, child (and deceased father) from Mexico, we quickly learn that Mamá’s wages, along with her second job, are insufficient to meet the family’s needs. Carlitos is energized when he learns other classmates’ parents are unified in the rallies and marches, and he gets a primer in activism.

Telling the story of the real Justice for Janitors campaign, Sí Se Puede introduces your budding activist to the impact of poor working conditions on several groups throughout history, and the tools to create change.

Ages: suggested 5-12, with text both in English and Spanish. Buy here.

Chocolate Me, Taye Diggs

A sweet story about a young boy who feels a little different from his classmates – from his nose and his darker skin to his hair. He wishes he could be more like the other kids. But after a heart-to-heart with his mom, he learns to appreciate his uniqueness.

Once he recognizes what makes him special, his confidence soars, and he’s a friend magnet.

I certainly wouldn’t presume to tell parents of black or multi-racial children how to talk to kids about race. These are highly personal conversations that will continue throughout their childhoods and beyond, and are impacted by family experiences. But Chocolate Me may be a helpful tool to talk about “feeling different.” I would also suggest this book for white children to build an early understanding of the challenges that children of various races face. One lesson my toddler has already learned from Chocolate Me is “we don’t point at people’s faces.” The first steps, certainly.

I want my child to see faces and people of all colors in her media diet to avoid normalizing whiteness, but also to understand that every individual has a unique experience and may encounter barriers that she does not.

Ages 4-8, Buy here.

For additional resources about how to talk to kids about race, I highly recommend checking out Raising Race Conscious Kids, which has loads of advice and thought-provoking pieces about Brown Bear, talking to a 6 year-old about white privilege, awkward moments, and more.

Tell us… how have you discussed race with your kids? Any awkward moments or teachable lessons?