Is Emotional Eating Bad?

Is emotional eating bad for you?

Well, it depends on who you ask.

Many experts will tell you that emotional eating is unhealthy. Many diets and nutrition plans will vilify it as a sign of weakness; a lack of discipline. And the health influencers may say that sugar and fatty foods are the devil.

But let’s take a step back.

There is a lot going on in the world at the time I sit down to write this. We are experiencing what I call “bad news overload.” From horrific violence to losing rights over our bodies, it feels staggering. Texts from my friends and our parenting community involve words like:

If you’ve felt that way recently, you’re not alone.

Why do we eat emotionally in times of crisis?

So what do we do?

Well, many of us turn to food. In the early days of the pandemic, I inhaled chocolate like it was my job. In fact, I often felt like I NEEDED chocolate in order to DO my actual job. Every time I sat down at the computer, in between tending to a 4 year-old with no child care, balancing Zoom schedules with my husband & worrying about worst case scenarios…

… chocolate was sometimes the only thing that would calm the flutter in my chest.

And make it possible for me to balance the impossible.

For many people who are “careful eaters” or “disciplined eaters” – those who constantly watch what they eat and try to “be good” or “stay on the wagon” – emotional eating may occur even more. Especially in times of a crisis.

But emotional eating isn’t inherently bad

It’s easy to point fingers and say that’s unhealthy behavior. But think about the times that emotional eating can be fun, joyous, and even positive.

• A long awaited date night at the beer garden with your favorite taco food truck
• Ice cream cones to celebrate the last day of school (our personal burgeoning tradition)
• A lobster sandwich on the first beach trip of the year
• S’mores on your camping trip or beach bonfire
• Sunday pasta dinner to celebrate your father’s birthday

And there are times that we lean into food to comfort ourselves or comfort each other.

• Preparing baked ziti & a casserole for a friend who’s taking care of her sick mother
• Baking cinnamon muffins with your kids on a snowy winter day that you’re all stuck in the house
• Learning how to make bread to quell your nervous energy
• Sharing some pinot grigio with your bestie as you vent about your job & your toddler’s refusal to get in a stroller.

These eating experiences are tied to emotions. Does that mean they’re bad? No, not at all.

Family traditions and celebrations often involve food, especially cultural ones. (With great-grandparents born in Sicily, many of my Thanksgiving meals growing up even contained a pasta course.) And there are hundreds more cultures with dishes and herbs that are just as meaningful.

That means that sometimes, when we comfort ourselves or our loved ones, food will play a prominent role. And that’s okay.

Why do I turn to food to cope?

Now, sure – if I could wave my magic wand and bestow you with all these emotional regulation tools right this minute, I would. The experts would say to go:

• Meditate
• Walk in nature for an hour
• Drink a tall glass of water
• Connect with your body intuition
• Check in with your coach/therapist
• Do breath work in the back yard
• Find joyful movement you love
• Take a midday break to rest
• Get 8-9 hours of sleep

But WAIT! If you’re looking at this bulleted list and thinking “yeah, right, I can’t do all this stuff,” you’re not alone.

This list of activities IS privileged. (Even though they’re awesome, too.) But it assumes that you have access to green space, time in your day to use for yourself, a flexible job, child care, health insurance, and a supportive partner. Maybe even an overnight nanny!

That’s why, if you end up taking advice only from the Instagram health experts, you’ll end up feeling inadequate. You just don’t have the bandwidth to do ALL of this. Or to do it right now.

So you may turn to food.

Treat emotional eating with compassion

And if you DO turn to emotional eating or you HAVE turned to emotional eating, please give yourself grace and compassion.

Instead of judging yourself or shaming yourself…

… try something completely new.

I invite you to THANK the food that has provided you with emotional comfort in times of distress.

After all, you could have turned to drugs and alcohol or other risky behaviors.

So take a minute and say:

“Thank you, ice cream.”

“Thank you, Doritos. You were here for me when I was falling apart. And I’m still here, hanging on.”

How to Handle Emotional Eating

Ok, so we’ve established that no, emotional eating isn’t inherently bad.

After you’ve expressed gratitude for the food that helped you get through a tough time, explore what additional options you have for coping with your emotions.

Is food your ONLY way to balance your emotions? If so, you may want a few additional tools.

I’d love to help you with that.

I help people jump off the frustrating hamster wheel of dieting to stop trying to shrink their bodies. Let’s have a free consultation to find out if 1:1 coaching is for you.