Not All Girls Like Pink

Society has a pink obsession. In the last 15-20 years, marketers and advertisers have slipped into a lazy, but intentional pattern of color-coding everything from toys, clothes and books to water bottles, greeting cards, and sheets.  Even toddler diapers are gendered.

In fact, if a girl is NOT wearing pink, especially a baby or a toddler, most people seem to assume it’s not a girl at all.  And people tend to get uncomfortable when they can’t pinpoint the sex of a child easily.  This hilarious drawing from Twisted Doodles says it all.

But not all girls like pink! So why is it being forced down our throats, in silly places like pens and online casinos?

What Does Pink Even Mean?

In discussions about gender stereotypes, the color pink often plays a dominant role. The thought-provoking Cinderella Ate My Daughter by Peggy Orenstein helped me to identify this pink-washing many years ago, and I’m shocked that it pervades today.

Orenstein’s book also taught me that pink was originally associated with boys in 18th and 19th centuries and didn’t switch to blue until post- World War II.  Blue was considered ‘dainty’ while pink was considered ‘strong.’

Even when I was a kid in the 80s (proven by my belt here), pink existed but did not saturate my choices. Now, it’s hard to find a backpack “for girls” that DOESN’T have pink or florals. But is that because girls choose it or because we tell them to choose it?

More: Backpacks that All Kids will Love

It makes me kinda hate pink.

Weirdly, I also like pink.

Admittedly, I have many traditionally feminine qualities.  As a child, my strengths did not lie in sports, but in dancing, writing, and theater. I like to dress up for holidays and parties, and curl my hair.  I wear at least a little bit of makeup when I go to work, and I own lots of purple items.  AND I’m a feminist.

Related: Does Wearing Makeup Make Me a Hypocrite?

The Pink Handbook

I suppose there is nothing inherently evil about the color pink. But when it applies to children, it translates to a narrow set of options; a script to follow. What happens to girls if they diverge from that script? They understand what adults have told them to do, starting with onesies at birth and birthday cards as toddlers.

This color comes with a set of directions.  Adults tell kids that pink and purple means girliness and princesses, which means sweet and pretty and nice to look at.

If they get caught in the pink-and-princess obsession for a few years – which seems to happen for many pre-school age girls, as they learn about gender and how to define themselves – what does it mean for their future? Is it just a stage, or will it have a tangible impact on their self-worth and body image?

No Boys Allowed

The other reason I hate pink is that it keeps boys away.  Blue seems to be “acceptable” for boys AND girls.  But pink is a screaming “girls only!” stop sign for boys. It says “keep out” and scares boys away.

When we create this strict color line, we subliminally tell boys that all characteristics associated with pink are off-limits for them: they don’t need to be sweet, caring, or attractive. And in fact society is telling them they shouldn’t.

Related: How to Make Women’s History Month Fun for Kids

Why We Should Stop Labeling Kids

Try this One Trick to Bust Gender Stereotypes

This can segregate play and discourage friendships between boys and girls at young age, and reinforce commonly-held beliefs about nature v. nurture.

The assignment of colors to genders seems arbitrary. Should we assign shapes to kids as well? Only girls can wear and use circles. Triangles are more appropriate for boys. If a boy wears socks with circles, we will immediately question his masculinity, his romantic preferences, and his prospects for adulthood.

Seems kinda ridiculous, doesn’t it?

In the meantime, I’ve had enough of pink!  I hope Elle Woods was wrong, and that maybe orange IS the new pink.