I got my daughter a play kitchen. Yup, I did.
Some of you might be thinking, hmmm, for someone who wants children to break free of traditional gender stereotypes, why are you giving your girl a hyper-gendered toy like a kitchen?
Good question, my keen friend!
Spoiler: the answer is.. I think ALL kids should have a play kitchen. Here’s why.
This post contains affiliate links. Click here for disclosures.
But first let’s back up.
Girls Can Be Anything
My mother finished college in the early ’70s when feminists were called “women’s libbers.” Congress had just passed Title IX and Billie Jean King had beaten Bobby Riggs in a sensational tennis match. It was also a time when marriage was subliminally frowned upon and a cultural shift re-evaluated women’s participation at home and in the workforce.
She consciously chose NOT to provide my sister and me with toys that encouraged traditionally-female housework, like vacuuming and cooking. Instead, she handed us a copy of “Free to Be You and Me” on vinyl and the old-school “Girls Can Be Anything.”
So let’s go back to your original question. Why am I ok with giving my daughter a play kitchen? Why should EVERY kid have a play kitchen?
1. They Make Cool, Gender-Neutral Kitchens Today
There’s nothing inherently evil about pink; I simply don’t like the color-coded messages that accompany pink and its alienating impact on boys.
We have the Step 2 Deluxe Kids Pretend Kitchen, a hand-me-down from my niece and nephew. It emits a welcoming vibe for girls AND boys. It is not drowning in pink hearts and bows, which are essentially a “keep out” sign to boys.
It has several appliances, many drawers, and lots of accessories, including utensils, play food, even cutting boards and pretend knives!
Kids’ play kitchens now also come in cool, retro designs that would look sleek and sophisticated in any playroom. If that’s your vibe, you might like this one:
2. Play Kitchens Boost Fine Motor Skills
When my toddler was deep in the “sorting and stacking” phase, she loved opening the cabinets and drawers in our real kitchen because she’s so curious about what’s behind the doors. Basically “Let’s Make a Deal” for tots.
If your toddler love to sort and stack, too, the play kitchen is a natural fit. What’s better than tons of pretend food and plates that she can move from one drawer to the next? Pure heaven.
Plus, the microwave, oven, and dishwasher have little buttons they can push to their heart’s content. Added bliss.
Not to mention, when kids grab and move the small vegetables and utensils, it’s bound to improve their pincer grip, a key piece of fine motor skill development.
–> Get your free parenting resources now! <–
3. Play Kitchens Support Children’s Independence
Our kitchen makes my toddler feel like she can tackle a project on her own, because unlike our actual kitchen, everything is within her reach.
It’s one of those toys that feels adult, yet children know it’s their domain only. I don’t know about you, but my child looooves for mommy and daddy to play with her, no matter the toy or activity. But this is one toy with which she has happily occupied herself alone for 20 minutes at a time. Score, right?
Your child will feel “grown-up” just like their parents, doing the cooking, and making the household run smoothly. Wait, strike that last part about anything being smooth. Maybe someday!
4. All Toys are for All Kids
First, let’s be clear. There is no such thing as a “boy toy” or a “girl toy.”
ALL kids should have access to ALL kinds of toys. This attitude supports them as well-rounded human beings who have a diverse range of interests and complex personalities.
Not only do we provide my daughter with a toy kitchen, but we give her access to soccer balls and crayons and sand tables and kites and fire engines and books and dolls and action figures. The child should be the one to pick what they love, regardless of gender.
Related: Boys and femininity: what are we so scared of?
Plus, don’t we all want our children to one day be self-sufficient? No matter whether boy or girl or any gender, barring any disabilities, we all hope for our kids to be adults with the ability to cook and take care of themselves. This is a great start.
Let’s normalize men doing housework, shall we?
5. Play Kitchens Encourage Imaginative Play
When other little kids come over to play – both boys and girls, they enjoy it, too. The kids work together, make soups, bring food back and forth to the table, and create scenarios through their imaginations. It facilitates open-ended play and creativity, and lets a child’s imagination soar.
And the fact that it keeps them occupied happily on their own for 20 minutes? Bliss for mommy.
Amazing! Toy kitchen is most favorite play in childhood. In my childhood, I had spent most of the time with my toy kitchen. My 2 years girls also like it so much. I think this kind of pretend play kitchen also helpful for child mental growth. So I want to buy the best toy kitchen play for my baby. Thank for sharing the best play kitchen to choose the right one for my kids.
Glad your children love play kitchens too. I love when kids will play with it together and sort of split up the duties. It’s great training for real life teamwork!
Are people still thinking a play kitchen is a girlish toy in this age?
Many of the toy catalogues still depict only girls at the kitchens, and many of them are specifically marketed to girls with lots of pink and purple. But I hope we’re moving past that!
Well, for those who have access to IKEA, their play kitchens are great. Absolutely gender neutral, and so are pretty much all their toys. Not that I am THAT keen on IKEA, but their toys selection is probably the best available because of price and TOTAL lack of color coding.
I really tried NOT to give them hyper gendered toys. I succeeded-ish – my youngest boy loves his play kitchen and my daughter is a sword wielding wild child. It helps a little that I all of our toys are as natural as possible – the puke inducing pinc-and-lilac color scheme is a little less prevalent in wooden stuff. All three of my kids play with dolls and agree that there are no boy or girl toys.
On the other hand I decidedly failed – my daughter loves pink, and ruffles, and dresses and skirts. She loves princesses and dolls, fairies and unicorns. Both my boys love fighting and cars and dinosaurs. Now, that doesn’t mean they never play anything else. They play quite well together with all kinds of toys as it should be 😊
I won’t know where all that comes from, but I’m all for giving them a big variety to choose from. Also: all kids should play with toy food and help in the kitchen later. I hate it when people think that it is anti-feminist to cook. Someone has to, right? I mean, if I want to eat, I have to cook…
Hi Veelana, I don’t think that you failed anything! Giving your kids options is a great thing. From there, they’ve made their own choices. And we can’t underestimate the power of peers and media on the choices of kids right? Glad your kids enjoy playing together too.
And yes…someone has to cook! A good skill for us all to know.
I believe the idea of what toy is for girls and what toy is for boys is VERY clear to children from a rather early age (say 3+ in my experience). Despite all our best attempts they will get all the information they require from TV, ads, shops, friends, nursery… you name it and they will internalize the relevant information and regurgitate it at the appropriate momenti, i.e. when they discover they are boys/girls. On the plus side… my experience is that will pass after a few years (in our case very few, THANKFULLY). The problems will resurface later when girls will start dressing like hookers and boys like thugs, but that is a problem we have not got to yet 😀
They will definitely get the information elsewhere, despite parents’ best attempts. And I feel that peer comments are one of the strongest influences. If a little kid at school says that color isn’t for you or that toy isn’t for you, it’s very hard for young child to stand up to that, even if they know it’s not true. Peer pressure is tough! Thanks for the comment, Andrea.
I’ll give you another example: we are Catholics and we regularly go to church; my eldest from well before she went to Sunday School or did any religious education, outside going to church, that is, was able to recognize the iconography found in an unknown church. Just looking at a painting never seen before she would know which one is Jesus (baby and grown up version) and which one is the Virgin Mary. I never really told her any of that, however she still managed to extrapolate the relevant information and recognize the cues that any religious painting would have.
Going to church is an hour a week. Compare that to endless hours spent watching Peppa Pig or such like (and THANKFULLY we don’t have sky, so no Disney Channel or similar) or spending every day at nursery or being complimented on your outfit first thing in the morning…
Very interesting analogy! So true. Children are so perceptive and can pick up on messages very quickly.