I Don’t Want to Know the Sex of My Baby

Since becoming pregnant, aside from “When are you due?” the most popular question is “Do you know what it is?”

My sarcastic side is tempted to say, “We’re hoping it’s a puppy.“

Of course I know what it is.  It’s a baby!  At least, I’m pretty sure.  Every once in a while, the squirming inside my belly evokes mental images of that creepy Spaceballs scene.  My husband and I are really just hoping the baby doesn’t come out as a dancing alien with a top hat.  We’re praying for a human.

Related: 5 Best Baby Shower Books

But I generally try not to be a jerk.  I know what they’re asking….is it a boy or a girl?

Why we didn’t find out the sex of the baby

We decided not to find out the sex; a process that technology has made possible only for the last few decades.  My parents didn’t know “what I was.”  I might have come out a puppy or alien.  Yet, my husband and I have already become a rarity.

I can see why.

The ease with which medical professionals can pinpoint the sex, combined with pure curiosity, leads to most expectant parents getting the scoop early.  To them, I say go for it!  But we didn’t want to know.

People furrowed their brows and looked at us strangely.  But don’t you want to know what it is? How will you decorate the room?  You’re not going to throw (carefully craft with the help of Pinterest and Etsy) a gender reveal party?  How will you prepare? 

Related: How to Create a Gender-Neutral Nusery

I’ll tell you how we’ve prepared. So far we’ve attended frequent doctor’s appointments, picked out a crib, shopped for a stroller, took childbirth classes, had ultrasounds, found a pediatrician, bought some onesies, popped prenatal vitamins, attended more doctor’s appointments, explored breastfeeding, read up on labor and delivery, freaked out about labor and delivery.

Whew!  The list goes on.

So far, the sex of our baby hasn’t mattered for any of these preparations.

Why is everything pink or blue?

But we live in an increasingly gendered society, where the retail market quickly learned the value of selling everything twice. As kids of the 80s, my sister and I wore lots of primary colors, Osh Kosh B’gosh, and striped shorts that looked the same as the neighborhood boys’.  We played with Construx and Barbies, organized kickball games and choreographed dances.

Related: The Problem with Color-Coding Children

Kids used to play with most of the same toys, but when companies can slap a pink princess on one toy and a Cars character on the other, suddenly they can sell more. Try finding a plain color kids’ beach chair at Toys ‘R Us without a Disney or Pixar character. Believe me, I’ve tried.

Only very recently have companies like Target started to receive the message that toys are toys, and kids should be able to play with what they want, without feeling shut off from certain products.

From a younger and younger age, kids receive clear messages about what is “for them” and what is “not for them.”  This trend has swept into the baby market, where I had a hard time finding newborn hats at Babies ‘R Us that weren’t pink or blue.  As proof, this is what the baby shower aisle looks like at the party store.

Ummm…are there ANY other options?

Bye bye, gender reveal party

It’s easier in a social setting to tell people we want to be surprised. But it really wasn’t about the surprise.  For me, it was a way to stave off the gender impositions a bit longer. And avoid questions like Do you think she’ll be a dancer like you?  I bet he’ll be tall like your husband!

I got to relish in my little alien a little bit longer.

So for now… no gender reveal party for us.

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If you are an expectant parent, and decided not to find out the sex of your baby, grab your free 12-page Gender Surprise Handbook. Use these 8 steps to mentally prepare for your little bundle of joy!