The Problem with Teaching Kids About Healthy Food

As a parent, one of your top concerns is your child’s body image and relationship to their bodies, appearances, and food.

So often in these discussions, the word “healthy” pops up.

I mean, we all want our kids to be healthy, right?

Even if your child is born with an illness or develop a disorder later in life, you still want to get them to a place that you consider is as healthy as possible – whatever those individual circumstances may be.

But… what exactly is “healthy”?

If this sounds a bit existential, bear with me.

Seriously, though, “healthy” is one of those words that is easy to throw around, and easy to claim as a value. But have you ever taken the time to really dissect what “healthy” means for you or for your family?

Teaching Kids about “Healthy” Food

This is a huge topic, so let’s first talk about “healthy” in terms of choosing food.

Now that my kid is 5 years-old, I’ve seen an increasing amount of so-called educational tools that attempt to teach children about nutrition and healthy lifestyles. 

You’ve probably seen it, too. It seems so benign that it tends to blend into the background. 

But it often pops up in ways like this: 

This Scholastic newsletter arrived at our house somehow (did it come in the mail? Folded into another magazine? I really have no idea these days.)

Anyhow, this issue is called “Healthy Smiles” – how to take care of your teeth. Unsurprisingly, the content boils down to four steps: 1) brush your teeth; 2) go to the dentist twice a year; 3) don’t eat lots of sweets; and 4) eat “healthy foods.”

Now, some of you will say: but Catherine, that’s all true, what’s the problem? Maybe you’re even a dentist and you’re gonna send me a lengthy comment with lots of scientific evidence. That’s fine. 

The point is… it’s become SO easy to demonize sweets and SO easy to uphold broccoli and milk that we fail to teach our children any nuance.

We Need More Nuanced Conversations with Kids About Food

This photo above says, “with healthy foods you can’t go wrong.” But let’s more critically about that. You CAN go wrong.

You could potentially go wrong if you eat too many cruciferous vegetables – some people get super gassy. You CAN potentially go wrong if you drink too much milk – dairy in large quantities can upset some people’s tummies, too. And some have life-threatening allergies.

You could also face challenges if you live in a food desert or your family doesn’t have enough money or access to buy fresh produce.

Yet we slap on the word “healthy” to these kids’ magazines and call it a day.

But that’s the problem with the word healthy. Who’s the judge? 

Some people think cow’s milk is healthy; some don’t.  

Who’s making the decision about what’s healthy?

Let’s stick with the broccoli and milk example. What if we combine those ingredients in a thick, warm cheddar broccoli soup – is it still healthy? Some will say yes. Some will say no.

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Related:

Don’t Make Kids Clean Their Plates

How to Get Started with Intuitive Eating for Kids

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Instead, We’re Teaching our Kids Shame and Guilt about Food

Despite this nuance, we take this problematic education one step further and ask our children to complete an exercise on the back as proof of their “critical thinking.”

Children are supposed to circle “crunchy fruits and vegetables that are good for teeth” and actually CROSS OUT the sugary foods.

Yes, cross out.

In addition to guilting the cute little kid with his hand in the cookie jar, it now tells children to cross out the cupcake, soda, and lollipop.

So what happens when your kid wants to have a cupcake at a birthday party?

What happens when your child has a lollipop on Halloween or Valentine’s Day?

Or have a brownie on a normal Tuesday?

It creates guilt and shame. Feeling they’re doing something they’re not supposed to be doing. Just waiting for someone to draw a red “X” on their hands. 

What we really need to teach our kids about food

This is the problem we run into when we try to teach our kids about the “healthiness” of certain foods.

Sure, I know many of you have moved beyond actually calling foods “good” or “bad/naughty.” 

But the “sometimes food” and “always food” dynamic is pretty similar. Same goes for “healthy/unhealthy.”

Our children understand the message – – do this, not that.

What these little magazines and pamphlets and preschool shows DON’T teach our kids is the lesson I believe is sooooo much more important…

… how to have a healthy relationship TO food. 

That’s the goal that is so much more helpful to our children over their lifetime. 

It’s a critical life skill that we don’t discuss enough.

Support Your Kids to Have a Healthy Relationship to Food

And, that’s why I am so excited to be offering a free, live training coming up next week on this very topic.

It’s called Peaceful Mealtime and will help you end food battles with your children and help them develop a healthy and positive relationship to food.

Just to be clear – this is not a recipe/cooking class. This is not about weekly meal planning. (That’s definitely not my specialty, even though I *occasionally* try to plan meals.)

What it IS about – crafting your approach to food and feeding your children, as part of a larger body image plan.

It’s about getting past roadblocks and old food issues that are tripping you up. It’s about creating an environment that supports your child’s lifelong relationship to food..

You’ll learn:

• How to model a positive relationship to food
• WHY you have food battles with your kids
• And how to rebuild your child’s relationship to food

So that dinnertime can actually be peaceful and fun. 

Did I mention it’s free? And live – I’ll be there answering questions, too.

Sign up here:

Hope to see you there!